Realisation

Do you ever overhear yourself sometimes while talking to a friend?

“I’ve got a really good palm reader in Camden……my acupuncturist says I need a course of treatment for it to have a real effect……..I had to see my cranial osteopath when my back went into spasm the other day”

I’ve become Edina from Absolutely Fabulous! I’ve collected various people to assist with my physical and spiritual ailments…sweedie darling!

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Procrastination

Procrastination is one of my greatest enemies. I haven’t been working a regular 9-5 job for the past two weeks for reasons beyond my control but during the first week, I was incredibly motivated and energetic. I spent hours in the garden, planting new seeds, pulling up old weeds and creating an open and inviting space which is much needed when you live in the city. So proud was I of my efforts that I would occasionally hang out the garden-facing window and admire my handiwork. I looked like a complete nutter. Then there were the hours of housework; load upon load of washing, cleaning and tidying the kitchen, living room, bathroom, landing… Anything I could get my hands on. It was really quite handy having the time available to complete all this life admin.

Fast forward two weeks and I find myself feeling lazy, wasting time surfing the internet looking at nothing particularly interesting and feeling quite low. A few days ago, I thought I could use my time wisely. Study! I thought to myself. Yes, studying is a sensible thing to do while I have all this free time. Sit down to study I did but that’s as far as I got. Sitting. And interwebbing (yes, I’m pretty sure that’s a word). I’ve also noticed a real correlation between my use of technology and my energy levels and general mood. But that’s another post for another time.

Sometimes I’ve idly wondered if there’s a magic cure-all for procrastination. I question why I’m so lazy but then it occurs to me that yes, there is laziness within me but it’s up to me to practice awareness and catch those moments where my mind wants to distract me. When I want to search Google or waste hours on YouTube clicking from one video to the next; THOSE are the moments where I need to come back to myself and focus on what’s really important. And actually, that’s not a bad place to be. To be aware of being aware. We all have to start somewhere and treat ourselves with compassion. It’s easy to bully ourselves for exhibiting unhelpful behaviour but instead, let’s be kind and work on moving forward. I’d much rather be a friend to myself than a foe.